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Beerjacket - Live at the Mill (2012)

by Beerjacket

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1.
You fill my heart up like a test tube Experimenting with my rescue Labrat love is no long-term cure But it's all I have for now for you. I broke my soul out of the young cage Returning it in turn for old age Laboured love is like a stuck page But it's all I have for now in truth. My heart's dissected on your slate My insides burning with bouquets Blood roses bloom for you Blood roses bloom for you. You kill the murder in my make-up Building bridges in my break-up Liberated from my kingdom come But I'm all I have for now for you. I spoke the sonnet of the senses Responding with my gut reflexes Exploration of my guesses says, All in all I'm just a part of you. My heart's dissected on your slate My insides burning with bouquets Blood roses bloom for you Blood roses bloom for you.
2.
Cave (live) 04:22
Married young to a need to be alone A sword unswung, a fear of ringing telephones Chained to a wall, a runner who has learned to crawl The winner is the last of all. Carried like song to an unwelcoming cave A word unloved sticks in your throat like it's your slave Tamed to a fault, a bird that taught itself to fall The winter is the first of all. Tied like courage to the mast But losing to an undead past Tired, discouraged by the act Of choosing the bruised old path. Bandage on, no need for glory put to song A God undone, broken like clouds beat by the sun Named to be called, a shadow meeting with the wall The window is the mirror's pall. Tied like courage to the mast But losing to an undead past Tired, discouraged by the act Of choosing the bruised old path. Hey, wake your heart up It's dying to start trying Hey, wake your heart up It's dying to start trying.
3.
You are the crutch You're the ocean that flows with rust You're busted boxing gloves But you ache like a scar and break apart like dust. Don't go walking on eggshells When you're cracking up yourself The yolk of your soul is bleeding Don't go walking a tightrope When it's tied around your throat The joke is your heart is beaten. You are the cross You're the static stone gathering moss You're crushed in your own paws But your nature is tempered and you're gaining only loss. Don't go walking on eggshells When you're cracking up yourself The yolk of your soul is bleeding Don't go walking a tightrope When it's tied around your throat The joke is your heart is beaten.
4.
The water round the island's broken A small scream fills the room The hour prises time's eyelids open Life invades the tomb. I've been woken, broke and fixed I've been filled with blood Rivers flow now through my wrists. I've always been afraid of you 'Cause you're honest And I've always been afraid of truth above all I've always been afraid of you 'Cause you're helpless and I'm helpless And I'm lost and I'm leading the way. The air was found with its silence stolen Quiet all consumed And every minute's a prize for hoping Often lost in bloom. I've been woken, broke and fixed I've been filled with blood Rivers flow now through my wrists. I've always been afraid of you 'Cause you're honest And I've always been afraid of truth above all I've always been afraid of you 'Cause you're helpless and I'm helpless And I'm lost and I'm leading the way. I made an island of my closed fist And drove it to my gut Rivers flow now through my wrists.
5.
Tornado, I welcome you Come blow my foundations away Make a path to the living room Through history and desolate days The witches that watch all wait for your season to change But no riches or fortunes could ever lay claim to your face. I was lifted like an air balloon Thrown like a penny from my doom If you're listening to yourself, you can be free. I've seen a skeleton in my own skin Maybe it helps to end before you begin I've been listening to my soul and not my fear. I was a broken yolk, an egg-on-face joke, In search of poison apples unafraid I'd choke, I was a lost and found of broken crowns I was Jack chasing Jill just to hit the ground. Volcano, you melt me I'm devastated by your grace Make me pass on my living love Through hysterical destructive haze The witches that watch you just wilt and then wither away For no riches or fortunes could ever lay claim to your face. I was living like a sad cartoon Blown like a wish that came true too soon If you're living by your lies, you will believe. I've seen a skeleton turn to my own twin Maybe it's hell to pay for a hot heaven I've been saving all the souls the bank don't freeze. I was a broken yolk, an egg-on-face joke, In search of poison apples unafraid I'd choke, I was a lost and found of broken crowns I was Jack chasing Jill just to hit the ground. I was a broken yolk, an egg-on-face joke, In search of poison apples unafraid I'd choke, I was a lost and found of broken crowns I was Jack chasing Jill. I was a lost and found of broken crowns I was Jack chasing Jill just to hit the ground. A lost and found of broken crowns I was Jack chasing Jill.
6.
Wish I could grow fresh legs beneath my old soul I've pedalled my whole life upon a broken bicycle The tyres grew thin till they refused finally to spin Left me hanging by the roadside like meat in a window. Wish I could grow fresh legs to take me back home I pursued a love of distance and won the heart of my shadow The years that spill bathe the other sad roadkill Right by my side on the roadside for all time to be widows. Carry me on shoulders I'll just not get older Your legs will be my legs I'll just not get old. Push while I steer I can't work the gears Your legs will be my legs I'll just not get old. Wish I could grow fresh legs to escape the snow I shovelled off the pathways all I could to open doors I'm tired of this endless ending but I can't quit I'll centre all my selfishness on the love I have in store. Carry me on shoulders I'll just not get older Your legs will be my legs I'll just not get old Push while I steer I can't work the gears Your legs will be my legs I'll just not get old. Don't get old Not get old We'll not get old.
7.
Without reasonable doubt, the winter never goes without It's a harder fight to win than the one you've been boxed in And though no-one really knows, surely nothing only grows in vain. 'Cause it's silent where lives are at rest It's a side effect of death And the trials test your reflexes Fill your lungs with breath. Within reach of hands to hold the winter cannot seem so cold It's a hard blow to begin then you grow a thicker skin And though no-one works it out surely nothing just amounts to pain. 'Cause it's silent where lives are at rest It's a side effect of death And the trials test your reflexes Fill your lungs with breath. You should take a hammer to both knees just to be sure you would even feel the difference if they couldn't find a cure Before you point a crooked finger, pull the trigger on your life You should calculate the distance That you've travelled from your mind.
8.
I'll drive, I'll drive, I'll drive I'll drive while you sleep I'll try, I'll try, I'll try I'll try while you're weak I'll fly, I'll fly, I'll fly With your weight on my wings I'll cry, I'll cry, I'll cry To give you something to sing I'll die, I'll die, I'll die Before you give me something. And you'll run from all the right answers And you'll blow all of your chances And you'll turn into the monster you always were underneath, You'll turn into the monster you always were underneath. I defy, I defy, I defy I defy your deceit The lie, the lie, The lie is mine if I let it breathe I'll drive, I'll drive, drive But I'll never leave I'll die, I'll die, I'll die And you're coming with me I'll drive, I'll drive, I'll drive I'll drive while you sleep. And we'll run from all the right answers And we'll blow all of our chances And we'll turn into the monsters we always were underneath And we'll turn into the monsters And we'll burn down like a candle That forgot how fast flame travels And we'll turn into the monsters we always were underneath And we'll turn into the monsters.
9.
A wrecking is the prize you've won Sweet failure is your gold But the snow falls hard in your cold heart Poor captain of the soul. It's a weaker man who'll throw his hand Defeat is often bold Oh captain, My poor captain of the soul. So a reckoning has come to pass And passed on you have all Now the blows rain hard on your dead art Poor captain of the soul. The anchor landed in your plans The map fell from hand to fold Oh captain, My poor captain. It's a braver man who'll show his hands Before a fist takes hold Oh captain My poor captain of the soul. It's a weaker man who'll throw his hand Defeat is often bold Oh captain, My poor captain. It's a braver man who'll show his hands Before a fist takes hold Oh captain My poor captain of the soul.
10.
Misery drips from the walls Spirits might rise but soon they'll fall Asleep on the couch on their own After deafening friends on the telephone. At the bar that never closes The doctor deals deadly doses For a fast track to neurosis Meet me at the bar that never closes. The fun never stops around here Base our lives on delusions, they're balanced by beer The mirror's a half-empty cup Refuses to let the facts interrupt At the bar that never closes The doctor deals death in doses For a fast track to neurosis Meet me at the bar that never closes.
11.
Drum (live) 03:11
Beat the drum, paint my face on it If you think that's going to help Thicker skin won't grow upon it Crack my head like an eggshell I'm defeated by weakness When you ring me like a bell Now older, clear my shoulder Now I'm over, wish me well. The rhythm was wrong all along, all along The rhythm was wrong all along. Be a drum, some guilty martyr Resonating dead regrets Flickering conscience interrupts you Your apologist's etiquette Repeatedly I've asked forgiveness Upon deaf ears I always fell Now we're older, let's get over No more cold now, no more hell The rhythm was wrong all along, all along The rhythm was wrong all along The rhythm was wrong all along, all along The rhythm was wrong all along. Throw your hand violently now to my face Hold no words silently now, let them escape Throw your hand violently now to my face Hold no words silently now, let them escape. The rhythm was wrong It stilted the song The time slipped and stop The beat didn't belong The rhythm was wrong all along, all along Throw your hand violently now to my face Hold no words silently now, let them escape Throw your hand violently now to my face Hold no words silently now, let them escape. The rhythm was wrong all along.
12.
The beating ticket must be torn in half Defeat the distance on a shared born path For when two travel, truths unravel Truths unravel when two travel And every journey is a blood-filled vein Release your captive on an open plain For when two travel, truths unravel Truths unravel when two travel. The world rests heavy in your hands The great escape is to be the lesser man Fall to knees and need no plan Few are free the more they understand The world rests heavy in your hands The great escape is to be the lesser man. An intersection is a test to friends Divides directions to their own mean ends For when two travel, truths unravel Truths unravel when two travel Love is the distance between man and cross Two arms extended make a lie of loss For when two travel, truths unravel Truths unravel when two travel. The world rests heavy in your hands The great escape is to be the lesser man Fall to knees and need no plan Few are free the more they understand The world rests heavy in your hands The great escape is to be the lesser man. We'll dive down to the ocean And we'll make our home in a deep-sea cave Our shells will all be opened They'll be filled with song, they'll be filled with song. We'll dive down to the ocean And we'll make our home in a deep-sea cave Our shells will all be opened They'll be filled with song, they'll be filled with song. Dive down to the ocean And we'll make our home in a deep-sea cave Our shells will all be opened There'll be nothing wrong, there'll be nothing in our way.
13.
The fallacy of youth is thinking that you choose, That everything you own right now you will never lose You will lose it all, every hair and every tooth Just as you don't belong to them, they do not belong to you. All order will subside in an avalanche of shoes, Not everything you know right now will always be the truth. You'll be lost again without a compass in the woods If you don't belong to them, how could they belong to you? Don't be surprised that I am able to perpetuate a lie 'Cause I'm happily disabled by the sun that shines inside. While I'm the hardiest of cynics, I know I'm lucky I'm alive 'Cause I remember nights by the knives, I remember nights by the knives. Ashes line the drives and burned down are the lives But you can't lose what you don't have so I guess that you'll survive. You alone aren't lost and you still have your lot For if you don't belong to them, they are easily forgotten. Don't be surprised that I am able to perpetuate a lie 'Cause I'm happily disabled by the sun that shines inside. While I'm the hardiest of cynics, I know I'm lucky I'm alive 'Cause I remember nights by the knives, I remember nights by the knives. Don't be surprised that I am able to perpetuate a lie 'Cause I'm happily disabled by the sun that shines inside. While I'm the hardiest of cynics, I know I'm lucky I'm alive 'Cause I remember nights by the knives, I remember nights by the knives.

about

This live album was recorded on 10th August, 2012 at Mill on the Fleet in Dumfries and Galloway.

Despite the lack of a PA, there were microphones strewn around the room capturing the concert thanks to Marcus Samson Wright. However, the recording had completely slipped from memory until the first weeks of 2016. To hear it for the first time so long after that night was really special and strange: this is really old and yet it feels new. It's really weird to hear Two Travel introduced as a new song when it too is now old. Lesson: nothing stays new forever.

The audience was pretty small but large-hearted, it was truly acoustic and there was even a baby in the crowd. The White Feather Trail had been released the previous October and this show followed some high-profile TV and radio appearances as well as festival slots at T in the Park and Wickerman, amongst others. This night was different. There was a realness about the whole occasion which was born of the fact that the natural power of things is what really has substance when you drive out hours into the country.

Producer Stuart MacLeod played the 'guest instruments' from The White Feather Trail and Julia Doogan of Julia and the Doogans sang the backing vocals from the record, at that time guesting in place of Louise Connell (Reverieme) who had been adventuring in New York when the gig was booked. Julia has since become a very important component on Beerjacket records alongside Louise and in the many performances she has contributed so essentially to over the past few years.

It really was a joy to discover this little time capsule, particularly as it wasn't recorded in Glasgow or anywhere Beerjacket music is well-known. The audience were as new to this music as it was to them. It was a special little night - it's nice to be able to share it with you.

credits

released January 25, 2016

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Marcus Samson Wright

Peter Kelly - guitar, vocals, ukulele, foot stomp, tambourine
Julia Doogan - vocals
Stuart MacLeod - baritone guitar, mandolin, high-strung guitar, shaker

All songs written by Peter Kelly
Cover illustration by GK

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Beerjacket Glasgow

Beerjacket is Scottish singer/songwriter, Peter Kelly, who has opened for The National, St Vincent, Kristin Hersh & Frightened Rabbit.

In 2018, Scottish Fiction released album/book of songs & short stories, Silver Cords, leading to an appearance at Edinburgh International Book Festival, a sold-out show with Cairn String Quartet at Celtic Connections, & radio play from BBC Radio 6 Music and KEXP.
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